The Potions Fiasco
by huffleclaw22
Summary: The Fifth years are in for a very eventful Potions lesson. Snape is in a particularly bad mood, Umbridge visits, and Neville nearly blows up the Potions classroom. Can you say chaos?


**A/N: Sooo I've been wanting to write this because I watched the Potions scene where Umbridge pisses off Snape and that's always hilarious so...yeah. I swear I'll continue with Back To The Beginning Of Hogwarts tomorrow if I don't have too much Potions homework myself. *Unfortunately for me it's actually Chemistry homework*...the muggle equivalent of Potions...oh God I wish I went to Hogwarts :(**

**JK Rowling is soooo awesome for writing this majestic epicness that we know to be the world of Harry Potter. Plz review!**

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Professor Severus Snape was currently watching over his fifth year students as they brewed a Strengthening Solution. He was a very proud man who didn't talk much, and when he did, he wasn't very nice about it. Especially not to his students other than the Slytherins.

Today Snape was a bit nervous, the new Defense Against The Dark Arts professor, Dolores Umbridge, was coming around to all the classes to interview the professors for Cornelius Fudge. The Ministry of Magic was interfering at Hogwarts out of Fudge's paranoia that Dumbledore was trying to create an army to overthrow the ministry.

Snape, being a double agent for both Dumbledore and The Dark Lord, was on edge. He kept glancing worriedly at the door. His students' lack of brewing skills wasn't doing anything to help his ever growing anxiety.

This was an unfortunate day for any student who dared to accidentally or purposely alike, screw up their potion. "Miss Abbott," Snape's drawling voice broke the silence in the dark dungeon classroom as he walked swiftly over to a shaking Hufflepuff girl with long honey blonde hair.

Hannah slowly turned around to face Snape looming over her, cowering in her seat. "Y-Yes Professor Snape?" she asked in a quavering voice, as if she'd start crying at any second.

Snape tisked. "Lets see Abbott, oh yes, let's see...if I look around, it seems as if this potion is supposed to be turquoise. Yes, I do believe this is correct, as your Potions book says so right here. Miss Abbott, your potion however, is yellow. Can you tell me how this is even remotely possible to make such a dire mistake?"

Hannah's face was as red as a beet. "Er...I-I don't know Professor, I'm so sorry!" she stammered, apologizing quickly.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Do not apologize to me Abbott, just accept the fact that you will most likely fail your Potions OWL because you are clearly not intelligent enough to brew a simple fifth year level potion! Unless MacMillan does it for you of course," he snapped coldly.

Naturally, Hannah began to cry, in front of the entire class. Snape stalked back up to the front of the room, he turned around. "20 points from Hufflepuff, oh the ignorance," he spat. Ernie MacMillan groaned loudly, glaring at his best friend, still shaking and cowering in her seat.

The Slytherins were roaring with laughter. Especially Millicent Bulstrode and Pansy Parkinson who constantly made it their personal mission to make the "Bubbly Badger's" (aka Hannah's) life a living hell. Draco Malfoy and his cronies Crabbe and Goyle also snickered menacingly.

Harry Potter sat quietly brewing his own potion, glad that the attention was off of him for a change. "What's up with Snape today, he seems a bit...out of it," Ron Weasley whispered.

"Dunno," Harry shrugged and continued measuring out a few drops of salamander blood.

"He seems like..." Hermione Granger couldn't seem to find the right words that she wanted to use.

"More of a jerk than usual?" Ron finished for her. Hermione just nodded.

Seamus Finnigan snorted at this comment. "I agree," he chimed in to the conversation. Dean Thomas bit his left fist and tried to concentrate on adding ingredients into his cauldron.

Neville Longbottom was extremely red in the face and shot angry glares at Snape whenever Snape turned his back. He was also staring at Hannah, who still hadn't stopped crying. "Snape's a prat...first he tries to poison my toad...then he makes Hannah cry..." he finally muttered under his breath.

"What was that Longbottom?" Snape suddenly appeared at the table full of trash talking Gryffindors.

"Shite," Seamus muttered, mixing his potion as fast as he could.

"Er..." Neville was speechless.

"That's what I thought, 10 points from Gryffindor for talking while you're supposed to be brewing," Snape said.

Seamus had been stirring his potion extremely fast, suddenly...BOOM! His entire cauldron exploded into hundreds of teensy pewter pieces all over the dungeon floor.

Snape spun around and scowled. "Oh look, Finnigan's managed to ruin yet another cauldron, and to a lesser extent his potion, and thus his grade for today," he said. Seamus scowled, he was drenched in his potion and ashen faced.

Just then, Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge walked in. "Excuse me, terribly sorry to interrupt but, could I ask you a few questions Professor Snape?" she asked in her annoyingly sing-songey voice.

"This isn't exactly the best time..." Snape said uneasily, glaring at the group of fifth years for causing so much drama before his interview.

"Oh it will only take a moment, as I can see your students seem very, _busy_," Umbridge commented coolly.

Snape's face flushed. "Fine, go on," he muttered.

Umbridge smiled, her eyes seemed to have a malicious red glint to them. "Lovely." She glanced down at her list of questions "You applied first for the Defense Against The Dark Arts post, is that correct?"

Snape glowered. "Yes," he answered in his bored monotone.

"But you were unsuccessful?" Umbridge simpered.

"Obviously," Snape looked like he wanted to strangle her. Ron snorted quietly.

Harry and Ron were desperately trying to contain their laughter. Harry was so distracted that he nearly poured pomegranate juice into his cauldron. "Harry!" Hermione grabbed his arm and snapped him back into reality.

"Oops," Harry quickly set the juice back on the table.

"Nice," Ron snickered.

Umbridge asked Snape a few more questions and then left the room. Snape whacked the back of Ron's head with the book he'd been holding. The Patil twins tried not to bust out in a giggling fit at this, and Snape walked away again.

"Wow..." Hermione rolled her eyes and mixed in some powdered griffin claw.

"Um...I think I brewed this wrong..." Neville looked very nervous.

Hermione peered into his cauldron; it was even worse than Hannah Abbott's, it was dark red. "Uh, yeah..." she was about to help him when Snape walked back over to their table.

"What is _that _Longbottom?" Snape demanded.

"Er...I'm not quite sure Professor," Neville replied, trembling.

"It's a shame you didn't bring that miserable little toad to class with you today," Snape smirked. He sniffed the fumes wafting up from the dark red substance.

"I-I can fix it Sir!" Neville pleaded. He knew that if he got one more bad mark in Potions his gran would certainly send him another howler.

"Don't even bother Longbottom, you and Miss Abbott can join me in remedial Potions next year," Snape replied dryly.

Hannah could be heard sniffling even more. Neville's face was bright red in embarassment. "Don't worry Neville, that class doesn't even exist, he's just being mean," Hermione whispered. Neville nodded.

Snape was walking around the classroom "I'll be coming around to check your potions in three minutes," he announced coldly, already anticipating most of them to fail. Especially Neville, Hannah, and Seamus.

"Harry, what is that awful smell?" Hermione hissed.

"I think I added too much griffin claw powder..." Harry shrugged, not really caring at this point.

"Mine's not great either..." Ron said.

Professor Snape was currently at the Hufflepuff table. "Hmph. Looks like Mister MacMillan was the only one who was able to brew this properly. And Miss Abbott, yours is by far the worst at this table. 10 points from Hufflepuff," he droned. As he was walking away, he grabbed Hannah's cauldron and dumped her failed potion down the nearest drain hole.

Ernie was scowling, of course even though his potion was brewed extremely well, Snape still docked points for the negatives versus awarding some for his positive. Hannah wiped her very red nose on the sleeve of her robes.

Snape went to the Slytherin table next. "Very good Mister Malfoy. Crabbe, Goyle, hmm yours could be better. Well done Miss Parkinson. Needs improvement Miss Greengrass but good try. Ah, excellent Miss Bulstrode. 20 points to Slytherin."

Ron shook his head miserably. "Biased git," he muttered.

"Yeah, seriously," Harry grumbled.

"Shut up you two, he's almost over here!" Hermione snapped.

Snape was now at the Ravenclaw table. "Well, well, well. As much as I hate to admit it, every single one of you managed to brew this potion properly. But what else to be expected from a house full of brainiacs. I hate this even more, but, 15 points to Ravenclaw," he grumbled.

Now he was heading over to the Gryffindor table. Terry Boot at the Ravenclaw table didn't look very pleased at how many points they'd been awarded. He could be heard grumbling to Morag MacDougal how even though their entire table was able to successfully brew the potion and only some of the Slytherins were able to, they still got more points.

Harry agreed. Suddenly, "Potter!" Snape was right behind him.

"Shit." Harry shut his eyes.

"Why Mister Potter, I must say that this potion is absolutely...awful!" Snape spat.

"What ever do you mean Sir?" Harry asked with mock innocence.

"It smells like fried rubber," Snape vanished it with a wave of his wand. "You can write me an essay on how to properly brew this potion, due tomorrow."

Harry groaned but nodded, it was better than failing like the rest of most of the class. Snape was now looming over Hermione's cauldron. "Of course the insufferable know it all brewed her potion correctly, don't think you're getting any points for this, as the rest of the table has failed miserably," he drawled.

"Of course not Sir," Hermione rolled her eyes. Her excellent marks and hard work never paid off in Potions.

Snape smirked "Longbottom, I'll let you keep this, you can feed it to your toad later," he remarked coldly. Neville was shaking as Snape moved on to Seamus.

"Finnigan, considering your potion is all over you and the cauldron is in pieces, I have nothing to grade. So, you fail also," Snape commented.

"Thomas, yours isn't bad, but it could be better," He added as an afterthought after glancing at Dean's potion.

Ron causually scratched behind his ear and yawned. "Don't care enough to try Weasley? Your potion seems to reflect this attitude as well," Snape said as he walked right behind him towards the Patil twins.

"Not bad ladies, but do try harder when mixing next time," He said coolly.

Ron shot a sideways glance at Harry "Miserable bloke he is today," he muttered under his breath. Harry just nodded his agreement, he'd already started his essay.

Now Professor Snape was standing in front of the class again. "Tonight you will all be completing the essay that I gave to Mister Potter. All of you except for Ravenclaw house, Malfoy, Granger, and MacMillan," he announced. The class grumbled and groaned but didn't protest.

"It has become very evident to me who will fail their Potions OWL this year, yes I _am _talking to you Miss Abbott..." Snape was saying.

Hannah had started to shake again, the poor girl was terrified of the ever looming OWL exams. "...I want this essay on my desk tomorrow at the beginning of class," Snape continued.

Neville had gone over to the drain to dump out his no good potion. Just then, it began to bubble and fizz wildly as it made it's way down the drain pipes. "Oh no!" Neville squeaked, taking refuge behind a table.

"Longbottom!" Snape roared, rushing over to the drain pipe, his long black robes billowing behind him.

"Everyone out! Class dismissed!" He yelled, seeing purple foam gushing rapidly out of the pipes, an explosion could occur at any second. It was like a ticking time bomb.

The class ran out of the room as fast as they could, Neville at the very front. "30 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape shouted. From outside the classroom the fifth years could hear an extremely loud explosion.

"Let's go!" Seamus said quickly, rushing away from the scene. Everyone else followed after him towards the Great Hall.

Neville's face was bright red, he looked utterly mortified. "I'm probably going to get a detention now..." he muttered sadly.

"I'll probably see you there," a sad voice commented. Hannah Abbott jogged to catch up with him. The poor girl was still visibly shaking in fear.

"He's never going to stop hating me..." Neville grumbled, putting a comforting arm around his shaking crush.

Harry was speed walking alongside Seamus, they could see Neville and Hannah hugging in their peripheral vision. "That was some Potions fiasco, and I'd really like to pretend I didn't just see that," Seamus laughed.

"Yeah, same," Harry agreed.

It was definitely some Potions fiasco, and none of them even knew what kind of hell they were in for the next day. Snape sat in his office cooking up even more ways to humiliate his least favorite students.

_~EL FIN~_

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**_PLEEEEEEEEEEZZZ review guyzz! :D_**


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